


Danny, the Champion of Beacon Hills

by mirrorkill



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Comedy, Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M, Ridiculous, Superheroes, Werewolves, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorkill/pseuds/mirrorkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny is secretly a superhero and has to hide it from the others whilst they're trying to hide werewolfness from him.</p><p>(Wherein dramatic irony isn't kind to anyone, Lydia plans to take over either prom or the world, and Danny's mom is amazing but even she can't take down the Beacon-Hills media.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Danny, the Champion of Beacon Hills

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kastron (decidueye)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/decidueye/gifts).



> Kastron's prompt was probably meant to be a little more serious.
> 
> Oops.
> 
> (Slight references to Kikaider, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and the MCU. Some vaguely dubious language so if I need to add a warning, let me know, thanks. ♥)

Danny's got a list of ways to handle lunch. A list of items to grab, a list of the order he has to do things (right elbow bent first, head slouched just a little, eyebrows raised if anyone sitting next to him tries to initiate conversation of any kind), a list of where he looks first and a list of things to open conversations if he has to talk.

He doesn't really deviate. That way, when he's had a extra hard night fighting supervillains, or he's trying to figure out what diabolical new method the Evil League of Evil are trying to take down California with, or just struggling with Math because he's too busy fighting the forces of evil to study, then at least he always behaves constantly at lunchtime. And no one notices he's hiding something huge.

Like a secret identity.

And the fact that he has super strength, super speed, and, well, regular laser-beam vision.

And the fact he can run up the side of buildings and fly.

And the fact that he runs around Beacon Hills at night in crimson spandex, in a crimson mask and white cape, with a giant C on his chest.

Oh, and he's also impervious to bullets and blades of any kind.

Yeah, Danny's sort of a superhero.

#

Not _sort of_. He is.

He blames his godfather. Dr. Komyoji really should have stopped at experimenting with androids before copying the idiots in New York trying to constantly replicate Project: Rebirth. Seriously. That thing had only worked _onc_ e.In the _forties_.

His godfather got closer than most, Danny supposes. His superhero-making machine just had _aiming_ issues before it folded in on itself and exploded. Danny, so far, is his one and only successful human trial.

It's just a shame for his godfather that he'd been pointing the ray at _himself_ , not at Danny's family summer house, seven miles away.

At least it was Danny out on the porch that morning, not his mom. His mom already had enough of a martyr complex.

He wishes he could blame his godfather for the name and costume. Especially the costume, but his mom made it, and anyone who _doesn't_ wear things their mom makes them is a giant dick. So even though Danny sort of _resembles_ a giant dick when he wears it (it's the helmet, probably), he wears it anyway.

The Beacon Hills Chronicle named him Cat-Man, when they caught a photo of him saving a cat out of a tree.

The C was meant to stand for Champion, but no one argues with the Beacon Hills press successfully.

Not even Danny's mom.

#

Danny's nursing a massive bruise on his chest and a slight hangover from using his super-speed continually for longer than ten seconds. His superpowers come with tiny prices, which all tend to add up to general abiding misery.

This is why he has his lunch time routine to cling to. He grabs his protein, carbs, two portions of fruit, yoghurt and bottle of water. He sits down at his usual table, bending his right elbow first and slouching his head a little. He checks the back exit, then the cheerleader's table, then the mathletes' table, and then nods casually at Lydia sitting primly across from him, blotting her lipgloss on a Kleenex even though the cafeteria provides free napkins.

The twin that isn't warm for Danny's form is sat next to Lydia, looking at her worshipfully. It's a sight that is replicated, almost _photocopied_ , onto the faces of about eighty per cent of Beacon Hill High's population.

Usually found for most of the time on one Stiles Stilinski.

Danny nods at Aiden, but doesn't use one of his typical conversation openers, because Lydia's already figured out he only has about five of them, which she answered one day during Freshman year in one go: "No, yes, it goes stale it's definitely cake, yellow, and _oh my god see a doctor_." When Lydia's at the table, though, Danny rarely has to start a conversation.

Today she's talking about her strategy to win Homecoming Queen, but Danny's not really paying any attention – she'll text him instructions to his part in the plan anyway – because he's got something more important to do.

Namely, find out if his identity got busted last night or not.

Stiles _had_ been pretty close to him during the whole shebang, after all. But Stiles is nowhere in sight, and Danny's worried. He _knew_ he should have followed Stiles after what happened, but Stiles' dad was there, and Danny didn't want to get caught and have to give a statement.

If the Government know his secret identity, they'll put him to work, or tear him apart in a lab. But if Stiles Stilinski knows it… Well, Danny's kind of screwed either way. Because it's one thing someone at school finding out his secret identity.

It's another thing _entirely_ if that person has verbal diarrhoea.

Stiles definitely falls into that category.

Danny's glad he has his list of actions to follow, because without them, he's pretty sure he'd have started bouncing off the cafeteria walls by now in anticipation.

And with his superstrength? Yeah, he'd be bouncing _through_ the cafeteria walls.

His only hope is that Stiles didn't recognise Danny's voice when he shouted at him.

Danny's heart skips a beat when Stiles turns up at the cafeteria door, and again when Stiles looks over in his direction, but all Stiles does is wave at him and ignore him for his table of losers near the back of the hall.

Aiden gives him a funny look when he notices the direction of Danny's gaze. Then he pointedly starts talking about Ethan really loudly. _Strangely_ loudly. Danny beams. Ethan's kind of perfect, after all. After a minute or two, Aiden forgets to be strange, and the conversation goes back to Lydia's plan to conquer the world.

Wait, they're still supposed to be calling it her plan to get the Homecoming Crown.

Right. Yes.

Man, if Lydia ever _actually_ decided to be a supervillain, Danny would _really_ be screwed. And not in Ethan's rather nice definition of the word. Hmmm.

Aiden gives him another _horrified_ look this time, and Danny shakes himself. Yeah, it's probably odd being so close to a dude having inappropriate and dirty thoughts about your identical twin _right to your face_. Danny tries not to wince in apology because it's not on his list of usual actions, and he casually tries to listen in on Stiles' conversation, to find out if Stiles _has_ rumbled him or not.

Stiles sinks onto his seat at his table looking a little dazed. It's kind of his default expression, so it takes a while for his friends to notice there's something up with him.

"Dude," Scott says, "where _were_ you this morning?"

"I nearly got shot," Stiles says. " _That's_ where I was this morning. Got into a little incident at the gas station. There was a hold-up. I got a little… mouthy."

"Why didn't you call me?" Scott demands.

Like Scott McCall can personally do something against bullets? Danny snorts into his milk. Lydia gives him a look. Oh. Maybe he's laughed over part of her scheming. Oops. He'll make it up to her later. From her current expression, probably with his credit card. It's a good thing his godfather gives him a sizeable stipend as an apology for the superhero ray thing.

"It was fine. Cat-Man saved me," Stiles says. Danny sneaks a peek. Stiles has his _worship Lydia_ face on. But it's not pointing in Lydia's direction. _What?_ "He shouted at me to get out of the way and pushed me down."

" _Cat-Man saved you,_ " Allison Argent says, snorting. "Seriously?"

"You've been away," Isaac Lahey says, looking at her like Danny looks at Freeze-o-Boy when the wannabe supervillain invades Beacon Hills thinking it's easy supervillain pickings. As _if_. Danny can sort Freeze-o-Boy out no problem, but he does eyeball him rather warily sometimes, because Freeze-o-Boy stabbed him like, _twenty times_ one summer. It was while Danny was fighting an _actual_ supervillain at the time and didn't expect a trainee supervillain to stab him.

There's no way Allison Argent would have stabbed Isaac Lahey twenty times. She probably just stepped on his foot with her stiletto heel, or something else which regular people labelled as traumatising.

"Cat-Man's our local Batman," Scott says. "But, he has a giant C on his chest."

"And he wears a spandex costume that honestly? Would totally put Delilah's wardrobe to shame," Stiles says.

"Delilah?" Allison asks.

"One of Stiles' cross-dressing friends from the Jungle," Scott says.

Yeah, the girls had kinda adopted Stiles. It's only a matter of time before they get him into a dress. Danny hopes it's on one of his rare nights off. He bets Stiles has nice legs under those baggy pants he favours.

Wait. Danny's getting distracted again. It's his supermetabolism. His body _knows_ it could be doing a hundred different things at once, and gets annoyed at him when he _doesn't_ fulfil his potential, so in retaliation his brain throws a fit every now and again.

"So?" Scott says. "You came up close and personal to a _superhero_. Dude. Do you have any clue who he is?"

"Can you imagine if I did?" Stiles leans back, eyes going dreamy and unfocussed. "We'd finally have someone who could take on Derek."

"Yeah," Scott says, sounding suddenly dreamy.

Derek. Danny tries to run through the names of people in school. He can't think of a Derek. Stiles and Scott seem to think this Derek might be on a strength-level as Danny, though (well, Cat-Man, stupid-ass secret identity) so maybe this Derek is on the same muscle-level as Stiles' cousin Miguel.

Mm, Miguel. Danny loves Ethan's abs, loves them to little pieces, but man, Miguel is the fuel of a thousand gay men's fantasies and be _yond_. Damn. How Stiles missed out on that chunk of hotness in his DNA, Danny will never know.

"I saw his eyes. They were amazing eyes," Stiles says. "And I heard his voice. That was it. If we were to look for Cat-Man, we need to find someone with eyes and a voice. I know it's not a lot to work with, but we've worked with worse…"

Scott and Allison snort. Say what you like about Stiles Stilinski's general lack of aptitude towards being a decent human being, he does have a great sense of humour.

"Ooh, one more thing," Stiles says. "He smelled _amazing._ "

"You _smelled_ the superhero?" Scott asks.

"I couldn't help it! He was right there, bulging muscles, amazing ass, _smelling delicious._ It's a pity it wasn’t you he saved," Stiles tells Scott, sighing.

A pity? _Reassuring._ Danny's been sniffed by Scott before. Maybe he thinks he has some sort of supersmell, or something.

Danny starts laughing at the idea of Scott McCall with _any_ sort of superpowers.

Nah. The world, Danny realises, has a good sense of humour, but it's not that cruel to inflict a Scott McCall with _superpowers_ onto humanity. The Earth would be _doomed_.

"You really have to stop using me as a snifferdog," Scott says. "Actually, nix all the dog jokes. I'm a werewolf, and it's _species-ist_."

Danny stares. And stares and stares.

"Dude," Stiles hisses, "Danny's looking this way. Does this mean I'm finally attractive?"

"Dream on," Allison laughs, while Stiles' cheerfully flips her the bird for destroying his hopes and dreams.

" _Werewolf?_ " Danny whispers under his breath, because _what_?

The table in front of Danny suddenly snaps in half. Danny looks across to see Aiden's fingernails, _embedded in the cheap wood_ , and red eyes glaring across at him.

Uh-oh.

Danny gets up, and starts backing out of the hall with a cheesy grin. Maybe he can get to one of the cleaning supply closets so he can change into his uniform. And fight the werewolf. In the school cafeteria.

The werewolf that… is the identical twin brother to the dude Danny's dating and having a lot, a _lot_ of sex with.

Aw, crap. Danny keeps grinning. It's dramatic irony, all right, making him its bitch.

Cat-Man, falling in love with a dog-related supernatural creature.

Ha. His mom is never going to stop laughing.

It could be worse, he supposes. He could be a werewolf hunter.

Nah, Danny thinks, joining the crowd in running screaming out of the hall, blending in with them for the moment before he runs off to don his spandex. _That_ sort of romance would be _completely_ ridiculous. 


End file.
